dave2n.com summer movie guide
I've honestly seen about three movies since I started teaching, and one was Vin Diesel's XXX, so I'm not even sure that counts. But here's the definitive summer movie guide anyway. I'll probably only see The Matrix Reloaded...okay, all right, you got me, maybe Daddy Day Care too.
2 Fast 2 Furious: Yeah, that's really what the sequel to The Fast and the Furious is called, not Big Cars Go Fast Vroom!. With no Vin Diesel, who's going to say all the incredibly deep car-to-life metaphors? "I live my life a quarter-mile at a time," I mean, you could start a religion with that. Expect an oscar nomination for Ja Rule. (June 6)
Bad Bad Boys 2: They've wanted to make this sequel for years. It's gonna make millions. My only gripe is that Will Smith continues to get all this attention while DJ Jazzy Jeff is forgotten, probably selling bottle rockets at South of the Border. (July 18)
Bruce Almighty: There is a scene where a dog is reading a newspaper on a toilet. I'm sold. (May 23)
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle: I think that this movie will make some money. (June 27)
Daddy Day Care: Eddie Murphy's most critically-acclaimed role since The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Chances of a scene where a kid hits Eddie Murphy in the crotch with a baseball or something: 100%. (May 9)
Finding Nemo: The latest Pixar (Toy Story, Monsters Inc.) offering. Has fish. Should be good. (May 30)
From Justin To Kelly: I saw a poster for this last weekend and couldn't believe it...believe how AWESOME A MOVIE IDEA THIS IS! Justin and Kelly from American Idol in a musical comedy! American commercialism at its finest; brings a tear to my eye. (June 13)
Hulk: A teacher at my school thought The Hulk "wasn't going to be all that." It's directed by the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon guy, Ang Lee, so it's got potential. I think I remember seeing an ad where the Hulk throws a tank or something with lots of 'splosions. (June 20)
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Yet another comic book movie. Sean "You're the man now dawg" Connery stars. Might give From Justin To Kelly a run for its money. (July 11)
The Matrix Reloaded: Rumored to have the best car chase sequence ever. I'm seeing this with the 6th grade teaching crew on the day it comes out. This is going to be the biggest movie of the summer, hands down. (May 15)
Pirates of the Caribbean: I love the ride at Disneyworld, so by association I have to like this movie, even if there aren't any animatronic robots. (July 9)
Pokemon Heroes: I didn't think that the 4 previous Pokemon movies answered all my questions about the Pokeverse. (May 16)
Shaolin Soccer: Kung-fu soccer, I'm telling you, this is going to rock. Already the all-time most successful Hong Kong production ever. (August 8)
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines: I'm sad that the guy who played Bobby Budnick on Salute Your Shorts isn't going to be back for this one. I don't know how this movie can possibly top T2. (July 2)
When Harry Met Lloyd : Dumb and Dumberer: Different director, different actors, no Sea Bass...I don't know. The first movie is a classic. (June 13)
X2: Nightcrawler looks awesome. Wolverine's hair is still awesome. Fights look awesome. High awesomeness level for this one. (May 2)
Saturday, April 26 at 9:31 AM
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